Apology
Dear PolyMeeting Peoples

Not so long ago there was quite a bit of drama, which centered on the events of our last Poly meeting. There was a lot of conversation about it online, and I mostly stayed silent throughout, both because I felt that the debate had grown into something (at times) like a flame war, and because I was feeling very guilty about having largely been responsible for the events that touched off the debate. Now that much of the serious arguing has died down I would like to offer an apology to all the people who were present that evening for my actions.

For those of you who were not there that evening, I was moderating the meeting. Early on there was a sort of jovial feel to the event. Some people were jokingly making references to nudity, and I actively encouraged, at some length in fact, people to get partially naked. Hopefully those of you who know me know that I meant no harm, that I was not objectifying these women, nor was I trying to encourage a sexual environment, but nonetheless it was completely inappropriate for that venue. Considering the fact that there were new people there, and several established poly people who are not comfortable with that kind of behavior, I should have known better. I forgot that I was not at a regular social event and I allowed a number of people to feel that they were not in a safe space. I know that for some of you this was your first experience with me, and perhaps this has permanently left an impression of me that will define me in your minds, but I hope that those of you who have seen me at meetings in the past will be able to forgive me, and know that I mean it when I say that I will never make this mistake again.

There was also conversation about my steering the conversation away from topics that some people felt were important to suit my own agenda. It is very important to me that those people understand that what I was actually doing was responding to comments made to me outside the meeting about certain people being steamrolled over, and their topics never coming to light. So in an attempt to try to cater to those peoples needs, I ironically ended up making another group feel the same way.

I feel that I have learned a great deal from this experience. I know some of you would prefer that I not moderate again, but it is my hope that those of you who felt hurt or unsafe will give me an opportunity to make amends. I have truly enjoyed acting as moderator at these events from time to time, and I hope that those of you who still believe that a moderator can be a good thing will still choose to put your trust in me. But regardless of whether I moderate again, I once again extend my sincere apologies to anyone who was hurt or upset by my actions.

Sincerely,
Michael Morena

PS feel free to re-post this to anyone you think might want to read this.